Book Review - Not Fade Away: A Short Life Well Lived

I recently finished this incredible book, Not Fade Away: A Short Life Well Lived, by Laurence Shames and Peter Barton for the second time. I first read it in 2021 after hearing about it on Tim Ferriss’ podcast with Chris Sacca. They did a repeat interview on the podcast recently, which made me re-listen to the older episode, and that made me think of this book again. I dusted it off from my bookshelf, and despite having read it before, could not put it down until I finished it again over a few days.

The book is a memoir by Peter Barton, a successful businessman and former President of Liberty Media, who was diagnosed with terminal cancer in his 40s. Over the last few years of his life, from his diagnosis to eventual death, he wrote this memoir along with Laurence Shames to detail his journey, thoughts, and insights from his illness as well as the rest of his life as the inevitable end got closer to closer. He was married with 3 young children. He was an energetic, larger-than-life executive in the prime of his life.

This is one of the few books that I have a hard copy of. I usually read on Kindle because I love reading across multiple devices, and having my notes synced at all times. When I first got this book, however, there was (and is) no Kindle version, so I bought the paperback. Just seeing this book brings to my mind the incredibly poignant feelings I had while reading it, and I will keep this book on my desk or somewhere I can see often. I will try to reread this book every year or two. I asked my spouse to read it as well, and I even just ordered a hardcover version of this book for my kids because I’m afraid it will go out of print at some point.

I was so struck by this book because I was recently diagnosed with a new medical condition that is something I will have to manage forever. It’s not life or death, but it’s my first formally diagnosed chronic disease. I will have to follow up with a doctor for this forever, and be treated for it. I’m in my late 30s, and I still feel like a kid at heart, but this made me realize that my body is definitely aging, and that just like my patients, it will continue to deteriorate no matter what we do.

Here are a couple of my takeaways from this book.

Health and family are more important than money

This should be obvious, of course. I think for most people, health is taken for granted until it’s taken away. For me, it’s an annoying chronic condition that I will have to manage, but for Peter, it was terminal stomach cancer. Now, we all have a death sentence from the moment we’re born, but very few of us think about it often. But there’s something about thinking about our mortality that leads to incredible insight, mindfulness, and the ability to be in the present moment. It’s why the Stoics would carry a coin in their pocket that said memento mori, or remember that you will die.

Some of the most poignant passages in the book simply described how he felt being at home with his kids. The signs of a full and happy home life, like kids’ belongings everywhere, toys stuck in the couch cushions, and the loud noise of his kids fighting and playing in the house. To a dying man, there was no better sound. But to most other busy parents, ourselves included, we often get annoyed when we see a huge mess or hear our kids yelling at each other.

He also saw his wife in a different light. When you’ve been married for a long time, it can be easy to take your spouse for granted. He describes how the day he found out his cancer was back, he didn’t tell anyone, and went to a concert that night with his wife and a few friends. And he saw his wife differently that night, not as just the mother of his children but as a beautiful woman in her own right, and he felt this immense gratitude about his life and family.

Once you’ve won the game, stop playing

Even before his cancer diagnosis, Peter was more aware of his limited time on earth than most people. His own father died of a heart attack when Peter was still a boy. As he describes, he has tried to live his life in double time, because he always assumed that he would die in his 40s like his father. He tried to pack as much life into his years as possible, and succeeded at that tremendously. He celebrated the day when he was his father’s age when he died, because all the time after that was just a bonus.

Because his father died of a heart attack, Peter did everything he could to take care of his cardiovascular health. Of course, being diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer shortly after he outlived his father was a huge blow. One silver lining is that he actually was already retired when he was diagnosed.

When he was 46 and President of Liberty Media, at the top of the game, he decided to retire. His colleagues were shocked at his decision, but it was something he had been thinking about all along. He always thought he would work for 10 to 15 years to make money, and once he had enough, he would stop. The sad part is that he was diagnosed with cancer at 48, but at least he had the awareness to still retire early before that.

Peter writes about how he first accumulated some wealth when he finally sold some stock options when he was 38. He was newly married, and up to that point, had worked to build Liberty Media while taking relatively little in salary. At 38, he finally cashed out some stock and had $1.5 million in the bank. He realized at the time that that was enough. No matter what happened from there, he and his family would be set for life.

$1.5 million in 1988 is about $4 million today in 2025. That’s pretty much the same age and net worth that I’m at right now. This hit me pretty hard too. I need to realize that no matter what happens now, we’re going to be fine. I can slow down a bit and enjoy the scenery.

And once I achieve financial independence (FI) in a couple more years, we’ve won the game. I can stop playing. I started on this career path when I was 22 and started medical school. It’s interesting that I always thought doctors are typically financially behind early in their careers compared to people that started working right out of college. But at this stage in our late 30s, Peter and I are at the exact same spot.

The body will deteriorate, but the soul doesn’t have to

Peter describes the body and the soul as being similar to business partners at the outset. In your prime, both things are working well and they complement each other.

As we age and particularly as we become ill, the body begins to deteriorate. It can no longer keep up with your soul. At some point, their paths diverge. But the soul can and often continues to grow as we age. Our raw intellectual horsepower wanes, but experience and wisdom more than makes up for it.

I certainly feel this as well. Hopefully I’ve become more wise with age and this will continue. There’s so much that I want to impart on my children based on what I’ve learned. Just like we take care of our body through diet and exercise, we also have to take care of our soul. This is different for each person, but for me, this is reading and meditation.

This is a relatively short book and I cannot recommend it enough. I hope it’s as impactful for you as it was for me!